Vitals

Name: Matt Bruss
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Year: Graduate
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Hey, you, yeah you. I just saw you staring at Bruss as he walked off the field and took off his shirt. I know what you're asking yourself, and lemme tell ya: yes, they're real. Oh, what? No, no, no. I wasn't talking about his breasts, I'm no perv. I'm talking about his skills. They're real. I'm not one to tell tall tales, but you seen the patch on the roof of the McClain center, the one rain pours in from? Bruss did that, jumped clear outta the damn building, truth. Make Hershey Hawkins proud, you shoulda seen how he shattered that shit. He got himself that raspy voice by apologizing so many damn times. Apologizing for what, ya ask? For skying people just like ya. For running right through people like theys was walking to the disc. Hell, he's so damn modest he'll break your mark and apologize before the disc is even caught, no lie. He's elevated the game so high, they're thinkin' of callin' what y'all play Penultimate. How ya like that? Some folk talk dirty 'bout him, say he made a pact with some she-devil from the West Coast. T'aint true, naw. Powers like his come only from the Almighty, and heaven help any that try and match up against him.

By Hh

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